We did it!! But not without some drama...

The Utah Half Triathlon Entry Fee's = $280


Wetsuit Purchase/Rental = $200


Gym membership fee's = $1000


Getting our asses kicked by mother nature for 70 miles = PRICELESS!





You've gotta love this picture of Michelle. It sums up how I assume everybody felt after finishing this race...and I quote, "Holy sh&*, am I done yet? Excuse me, where is the bathroom, so I can puke my guts out?" Man oh man, what a race...





We've all heard those stories that seem just a little to dramatic to be true. You know, the one where your grandparents had to walk ten miles to school with no shoes. Up hill both ways in six inches of snow...blah blah blah. Yeah whatever, I was born at night, but not last night. Well, we now have our own version of this story! You decide how much of it to believe...





Let me begin by telling you that Michelle and I are a couple of tough cookies. Rain, sleet, snow, does not deter us from our training. (That or we're on the verge of going postal...forgive the pun.) Seriously though, we do 99% of our cardio training outdoors. It doesn't matter if there is 6 inches of snow on the ground and a 20 mile training run awaits, we're out there trudging along. Well I thought we were tough, until this Saturday.





It all started so peacefully. Awake at 4:45 AM, on the road by 5:15. Weather was calm and clear. It looked like a beautiful day for a race. Living in Utah though, if you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes and it'll change. Had we only known then we could have faked an injury, called in sick, called in dead, whatever.





After setting up our transition area, getting the body markings (which we both still have days later), and standing in line for the porta potties, we were pumped and ready for the swim. (By the way, let me mention, there is nothing worse than a pre-race porta potty. I'm so glad I'm a guy, yuck!) As we begin to walk to the swim area, not even 10 seconds after leaving transition, the wind starts to pick up. Not too big of a deal, at least there is no lightening, right? Still pumped for the swim....whimper! By the time we get to the swim start, the wind is howling, at least 80 MPH. Okay maybe only 20-30 MPH, but bad enough to wreak havoc on the swim buoys. So much so that we couldn't start the swim. The wait begins...second whimper.





15 minutes...oh boy. Watching the wind blowing, white caps start showing in the swim course. With my swim skills it was like showing a little kid a horror movie, and then asking them to sleep in the basement alone that same night. Ain't happening...





30 minutes...are you kidding me. I had totally pumped myself up for this 1.2 mile swim, and now waiting 30 minutes in the cold wind was more than I could take....double whimper.





The swim begins...





Finally, after a 40 minute wait, we are instructed that there is enough time for 1 loop of the two mile course. In total maybe 3/4 of a mile. I mustered up enough of my strength to convince myself it wouldn't be that bad. Big mistake. About three minutes into the swim, I'm going strong. Front middle of the pack swimming strong. I go to take a breath right at the same time one of the waves decides to crash down on my head. I know, I'm not a strong swimmer, but I'm not dumb enough to breathe while my head is still underwater...at least not usually. Oops...that hurt. Okay, time to regroup, I can do this. Just need to get my composure, flop onto my back for a little regroup. Bam...next wave smashes me. Now I'm ticked...can't swim in this crappy water, can't float on my back, how the he$% am I going to survive this swim? Ahh...I realize we're in Utah Lake. Shallow enough in certain spots to walk. Must find shallow water. Much to my relief, I find a small shallow spot. I know what you're thinking...sorry to disappoint, but no I'm not too proud to walk during a swim. Anything to survive. Yet another strong swim...outta the water in 223rd place, out of 258 participants. But at least I'm alive. On to T1.





Pull the wetsuit off, socks, shoes, and helmet on. Grab the bike, and look who it is...Michelle. She started 10 minutes after me, and she's almost passed me already...brutal. Oh well, at least I'm not floating like that dead carp near the swim entrance. Grab the bike and I'm off...wait a second, my right calf is completely cramped up, the da%$ swim strikes again. Ugh!



No time to waste, 56 miles of peaceful asphalt ahead. Peaceful? I guess if you were one of those people who chase tornado's for a living you might have considered this bike peaceful. Forty mile an hour winds the entire time. Of course, riding into the wind the entire time. C'mon - what do you mean you don't believe that? Okay, fine...we did have that little stretch into the side wind. In all seriousness, the wind was whipping the entire ride. Although shorter than the Tour De Park City, this ride was 10 times tougher. I remember laughing to myself several times during the ride..."What the he$% am I doing? This is craziness." To top things off, as we turned North to head back to the race hub, we caught a glimpse of the "Storm of the Century" that was causing all this havoc. I'm talking about the biggest, blackest, nastiest looking storm I've seen in a long time. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that we were riding our bikes right into the teeth of this sucker. I can only imagine this is how the soldiers in the Civil War felt as they were heading into battle. You can see the enemy and you basically just run right into the middle of the scrum. Sounds appealing, huh?

Well, of course this race wouldn't have been complete without the rain. With about 10 miles to go, we finally hit the rain. By this time, everybody looked absolutely drained. Fighting the wind had just sucked the life out of us. On a scale of 1 to 10, had I been asked to rate myself, I would have given myself a 2. Not good considering I wasn't off the bike yet and still had a half marathon to run. Things were looking bleak, not to mention I was completely out of food, water, and gatorade. Big mistake...and on top of it all, I was soaked to the bone, and cold. Yes, cold in August...in Utah. Oh well, at least I can put on a nice pair of dry shoes for the run. Oh sh*%, my shoes are in the transition area, completely exposed! They're drenched too...

Somehow I managed to limp my way in on the bike...got a little burst of energy seeing some family at the transition area. Grabbed some food for the run and was off. For all you seasoned racers, you've all heard the warnings...DO NOT TRY ANYTHING NEW ON RACE DAY!!! Well, that's exactly what I did...and it was great! Of course, nobody has said I'm the sharpest knive in the drawer. Plus, I'm getting older and my hearing isn't that good anymore, just ask Michelle. What was that? Did someone say something? Huh, oh well...back to the story.

The run for me was actually the most enjoyable part of the race. I ate a 12 course meal...bananas, pretzels, Nilla wafers, gummy bears, M&M's, granola bars, it was great. After having been wiped on the bike, my body responded well to the fuel and I ran a strong race 1 hr 41 minutes. Not a PR, but a good run regardless. The run course was odd...to say the least. Someone described it as a spider. Run out for a leg, come back to the middle, run out to another leg, come back to the middle for two loops. It was actually refreshing, as we were able to see friends and family several times and that is HUGE for moral. The highlight of the run though, came about 5 miles in. A guy was about 200 hundred yards in front of me, but I was closing fast. Suddenly, I see a stream of water shooting to the right...what the he&*? This dude is peeing mid-run. He didn't even slow down! Amazing...I'm just glad I was still behind him. Yikes.

All in all, after a shaky swim, I was able to ride and run strongly and finish in 27th place overall. Breaking the 5 hour mark by 45 seconds. Although the swim was cut short, I think the wind and rain made up for it. The race director made an attempt at humor before the swim began, and I quote, "The two lap swim isn't important, you're going to get more wet on the bike and run." HA HA HA...shut up! Boy was he right.

Michelle was strong as usual. 19th female overall, 5 hours 30 minutes...and looking stunning as she came across the finish line. She's one sexy triathlete. Nice job babe!

So there you have it. Our first 70.3...or or 69.8, whatever! I'll leave you with this...I've now done four triathlons this year. The first had rain and temps in the forty's, the second had rain and wind, the third was unseasonably HOT, and the Utah Half...see above for weather description. MOTHER NATURE HATES TRIATHLON. LOL...at least the ones I choose to do!

Tri and Run a little this week. You'll feel much better, don't let the above scare you. We can't wait for our next race.