NEVER AGAIN!

I always say that.  NEVER AGAIN!  I wonder why Justin always looks at me funny and says "you always say that."  I must forget how difficult marathons are.  It's kind of like labor.  I remember feeling like that when we had our first child.  Then during labor the second time.. I said "hey, the pains not too bad" and Justin said "I don't think you remember how bad it hurts."  Of course (for the record) he was right.  Right about labor and marathons.  So I am leaving those life events to him.  He will look so cute pregnant!

Ogden was my final marathon.  It was my eighth one and boy o' boy it hurt.  Lets start from the beginning...

Our friends-cousins-once removed-from anotha motha, Paul and Cindy, were gracious enough to let us stay at their beautiful condo in Eden.  Eden is absolutely breathtaking.  I guess that's why they named it Eden?  It is situated half-way up the Ogden Canyon next to Pineview Reservoir.  Snow Basin is nearby and their are pine trees everywhere you look.  i know Ogden is known as a haven for outdoor enthusiasts and it always ranks high on "The Best Places to Live" list.  It is also home to the Dew Tour (snowboarding competition) and the Xterra Championship race. 

We made it a Racation and brought the kiddos with us.  Since it was Justin's turn for kid duty (he still owes me 7 hours) we thought it would be fun to all be together.  After picking up my bib number, shirt and goodie bag we of course hit Cafe Rio' for our pre-race meal.  Maybe it is not a good thing to have beans before a race.  We have always done this though and it was Justin's birthday so I just couldn't say no.  After we downed our burritos we drove up the canyon to Eden.  The mile markers were already out along with the portapotties.  The course "looked"  fabulous..fast and easy, right?  I kept thinking...this course is all downhill..BQ for sure!

Once we were settled at the condo the kids and I surprised Justin with a box of cupcakes and sang "Happy Birthday" to their old man.  After Ty licked the frosting off half the cupcakes we decided it was time for bed.  A 4 o' clock alarm was set to go off soon.

I woke up feeling pretty good, fresh and excited to race.  Justin and the pajama laden kids dropped me off at the start (which I felt so guilty about).  We pulled in between two buses and I snuck into the swarm of runners.  We never break any rules in races but we just couldn't make sense of driving to the bottom of the canyon so I could load onto a bus.  Anyways, to my surprise it was not too cold at the race start.  I had layered myself with 3 shirts, snow hat, gloves and space blanket.  I used the space blanket to sit on and invited other fellow runners to join me by the camp fire.  We started singing "Kum buy ya, my Lord...Kum buy ya." and roasting marshmallows.  It was so much fun.  Kidding.  We did have an hour and a half before the gun went off so it was nice to relax, get cozy and share some conversation.  I found my friend Callie in line for the portapotties and slipped in line with her (another rule broken).  After wishing her and another friend Dina luck I headed back to my camp fire to get ready. I ate a Cliff bar, finished off a Powerade, stripped down to my running apparel and headed for the starting line.

There was no wind, rain and the temperature was perfect!  The first 7 miles were downhill so it was easy to "sandbag" some time.  I tried to remain conservative but I was getting passed like I was standing still.  I was averaging an 8 minute per mile pace.  My goal was to stay around 8.30 but going downhill is hard to hold back.  I was feeling great up through mile 8.  The course was so beautiful.  It was like looking at a landscape calender around every turn. 

Miles 8-13 were pretty flat and maybe even a slight bit uphill.  There was definitely a climb at mile 14 as you approached the damn.  I was still making good time even after visiting every bathroom.  I kept alternating powerade and water and even took in half a Cliff shot.  The volunteers were amazing.  This race was so well organized.  I did get passed by the 3.30 pace team and felt a little down about it but that's ok, I'm still in the game.  I was starting to feel a little thirsty...never a good sign.  I also felt like I had to use the bathroom but nothing was happening.  It was like my body decided to shut-down and not process anything I was ingesting.  I've had this same thing happen to me numerous times.  You would think I would know better and have nutrition nailed by now but for some reason I don't! My mind began playing with me and I was beginning to think negative thoughts.  Then the 3.45 pace team passed me.  I
tried to hang with them but my legs would not respond!  I can still make under 4..right?  Please!
With my quads toast, belly sloshing and negative thoughts swarming in my head I decided that once I saw Justin and the kids around mile 20 I would call it quits.  I imagined myself sitting in the car with my feet up drinking a coke.  I saw them at mile 23 (at the bottom of the canyon) and it was like he already knew how I was feeling.  Deja Vu...I guess.  I told him I was hurting and he just said "you're pretty much done, just head it on in. You can do it."  He's so calm and together all the time.  Here I was pretty much dying right in front of him, my insides are going to fall out and he just smiles and gives me a hug and pushes me on.  I guess sometimes we need people to do that for us.  They know us better than we know ourselves and what we are capable of. We need a little push once in a while. So I was off to the finish.  I don't know how I did it but I did.  I was crawling at a 10 minute mile pace and getting passed by tons of runners.  I will be dead last, I'm sure of it. This is not fun. NEVER AGAIN! Then here comes the 4.00 pace team, surely I will be able to hang with them.  Just finish, just finish, please let me finish this race and under 4 hours!


Ahhh....time to quit or time to learn how to wear compression socks.



One last kick down the home stretch.



Brittany and I ALIVE!

 I knew deep down that I could and would finish this race.  That thing on my shoulders is pretty powerful.  Although I kept thinking of all the negative things happening in my life and all the doors that have been closing, rejection, hurt, sorrow... poor me, poor me.  Never again!  Then after I finished in 4.01, I found my healthy, happy family, got my ice cold coke, a massage from Justin and met up with my good friend Brittany (whom runs at least 5 marathons a year). I felt ok again. Yeah, I was hurting during those final miles and I wanted to give up, throw in the towel.  Life is so much easier that way.  Why put yourself out there, take a chance or risk falling on your face.  It hurts too bad.  Why not take the easy road?

One of my favorite quotes:  "You can live a life of discipline or a life of regret."  I knew that I wasn't a quitter and no matter how bad life 'hurts" it is much better to hurt with passion than regret.  So this I say to you 2 days post-marathon; you can do it, get out there!  As much as I like to be on the sidelines cheering on my favorite people, I love being in the game...even if it means I might get hurt or end up disappointed.

R.I.P- "NEVER AGAIN"

Hello life and maybe the SoJo marathon...


Michelle